Now

78 years. It is my birthday today. 78 years of Harry Styles. 53 years of loneliness in this mad place. I don’t see Niall everywhere anymore. Not like I used to. But I do see him when I take walks. I see him a few meters away sitting in the grass, shirtless and exposing his pale, white Irish skin. I see him in the cafeteria when we’re served food and I hear his beautiful voice nagging about how he misses Nandos. It’s not in a crazy way. I do know what’s real and what’s not. What’s real is that I’m 78 years old and today is the time.

I take a look at the picture of us five I have standing next to my bed. That picture was taken the day we got through to live shows. Simon took it. I remember how shy Liam had been. Zayn had been quiet but very social. Louis had us all cheered up. Niall was his usual charming self. The colored blonde hair was a big mess from the salt water. But I remember thinking how hot it made him look. I looked so serious at the time. But I remember that I was so determined to not be treated like a little boy anymore. I wanted to be grown up and show the world who Harry Styles was. That I was in a silly boy band called One Direction, who later would turn out to be the biggest boy band in the world. Which still later was the reason the big boy band ended. God I was pathetic at that time.

I sat down on my bed with a sigh. The legs weren’t as healthy as they were when I was 16. The door swung open and my nurse entered the room with a tray in her hands. She smiled when she saw me and then she put the tray down as she helped me tuck myself in the bed.
The nurse, Sandra was her name, was in her mid twenties and she had beautiful brown, a bit wavy hair and her eyes were marvelous. Sometimes they were grey and sometimes they were green depending on which light she was standing in.

“You alright Mr. Styles?” she asked with her Yorkshire accent. I nodded.
“How’s your granny?” I asked with a raspy voice. She smiled again and looked at me.
“She’s doing fine. Your autograph made her joke about ‘Now I can finally die happy’ and ‘I’ve been waiting for this for 57 years’”. She paused and looked down with a sigh. I took her hand and patted it gently.
“Whatever happens to your grandmother just remember who you are.” I said. “I didn’t and it took me almost 53 years to find myself again.” She nodded and gave me a quick smile before she got up.

“So Mr. it’s your birthday today, what do you want to do to celebrate? 78 is kinda big I think!” I shook my head.
“No.” I said. “Today’s the day. I’m ready now.” It had been over ten years since I last saw Niall. Today I would see him again. I just knew it.

The nurse kissed me on the cheek and then she left me alone in my room. I look to my right so I could see the frame with Niall’s picture in it. I took a last glance of it before I closed my eyes and let the light guide me to him.

I saw him as quick as the lids closed. He looked like he hadn’t aged a bit. His hair was his natural brown color and he smiled the biggest smile I’ve seen in years. His crocked teeth were shown and they were the same. Niall reached out his hand and I didn’t hesitate a second. I took his small, pale fingers in mine and I let him lead me to eternity. We were together and this time nothing could take him away from me.